Oh, no! I’m afraid some people will start throwing stones at me… Don’t get me wrong, the purses are pretty – but way over priced.
Let me explain what I don’t like about Vera Bradley, American Girl dolls, etc: they make children want to be what they are not! The whole branding fascination does that and the children that cannot afford them, feel worthless. And make parents try to live beyond their means… They are elitist and exclusive!
There is a tendency in the American society to compensate every need with material things – let’s go shopping for when things go bad… And it is hitting kids at younger ages every year. And the trends, that are so instant and replaceable in the era of flash love, hit schools like a hurricane. There is the case of wall paper, carpet, and chandeliers for lockers – FOR LOCKERS!!!!! What is the real use of it but create more garbage????? And all the girls feel they must have them to decorate their school lockers… and the girls that don’t do it are out (popularity, anyone?). And the “need” to have a Vera Bradley purse or backpack – to go to school, really? And the brand jeans, shirts, shoes. I have to confess that I ended up buying Tom’s shoes for my kids – they are overpriced, but I think I felt compelled by the Company’s campaign to shoe kids in developing countries for every pair of Tom’s you buy. The capitalist charitable way…
I can see my girls fascinated by all this – wanting and wanting – and feeling less valued and important because they don’t have them (am I being a bad mother?) But I am trying to teach them that these “things”, because they are just things, are not what define them, or make them happy. It’s just an outside validation that will go away, replaced by the next… and it will be impossible to keep up with it to “feel” happy.
We did have our brands and trends when I was growing up, but I did not feel less valued because I didn’t have them – if I liked something and it resonated with my style (because style and liking to dress are part of growing up) I’d try to find a good deal – and so did most of my friends. The ones who didn’t, were not show offs, just a bit lazy… but no one was an outcast because of what they wore or had…
But this is a different culture and society and I am a bit lost (and old… very different generation…) – and honestly reaching out to all mothers – am I messing up with my kids’ life by not fulfilling what I consider an empty desire? By not surrendering to the “popular” concept that I don’t understand? Do we, as parents, need to subscribe to these material wants so our kids feel accepted? How, when I start seeing kids so young going to school with their iPhones and iPads, and their expensive shoes, and purses, and jewelry, just so they are above (or better, the same) others?
Being a teenager is already such a delicate and sensitive phase – and with this material interference, it makes it harder and harder. We preach against peer pressure, but subscribing to this whole issue is accepting the pressure… why do we conform to the wrong causes and issues?…
Would love to know what you think – I’m at loss…
11 comments
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September 21, 2011 at 2:29 PM
Jeff Silvey
Chandeliers for lockers, really? Wow, things sure are different now.
Your ideas and morals are right, but as always, things are more complicated than that. There has to be a balance between that and the fact that kids simply need to fit in. iPads in school? Dunno, that may be a bit much. Chandeliers in lockers? I don’t know how much that costs. Regardless, we all as parents need to have some give when it comes to these things. That is, if things are within reason, and if the kids have their hearts set on them. Of course kids can’t get everything they want, and some things are just silly anyway.
I hope that makes sense.
September 21, 2011 at 2:52 PM
pacatatu
Thank you, it does make sense – kind like pick your battles – just have to know which ones to pick that will not send the wrong message and corrupt us! Thanks for visiting!
September 22, 2011 at 7:21 PM
Vera Bradly creating more than a hundred jobs
[…] I don’t like Vera Bradley (pacatatu.wordpress.com) […]
September 22, 2011 at 7:37 PM
pacatatu
I appreciate your comment and the link. Although I don’t personally have anything against Vera Bradley, I do think the purses are overpriced and the concept is elitist and promotes exclusion. I went to one of their stores in the hopes to find something more affordable as a birthday gift for my girls: no clearance rack, no sales – the store was empty… a sign that both haves and wanna haves aren’t buying superfluous expensive items during this harsh economic time. I felt kind of bad for them and a little relief for my children…
September 26, 2011 at 5:48 PM
wyzewitch
It was easier for us hippie children. Being a little bit off kilter was way more cool than conforming. Kids are under a lot of pressure today and so are their parents. I understand peer pressure, but I don’t think any of them are going to suffer too horribly because they don’t have the latest, the best, the hottest new thing.
When your children are out of school a few fleeting years down the road, the thing they will remember most is the love and support that you gave them. They will remember that you were always there and willing to listen. Most of all, they will remember – and know – that they are loved.
September 27, 2011 at 11:15 AM
pacatatu
so true – the pressure is so much more now and news travel much faster with all the networking and cyber life…
October 5, 2011 at 5:28 PM
agsawan
and…let’s just say it, their ugly.
October 9, 2011 at 1:20 PM
doc_retro@juno.com
Consumerism does have a dark side. Folks don’t want to know about the working conditions in the factories where their iDevices come from, even though they could use them to find out. Things that are old are not only not valued, they are often positively hated. (My experience as a user of retro-tech – old cell phones, computers, etc. – validates this. People actually become angry, on occasion, with me, as if I was doing something wrong or foolish by using things up before throwing them away.)
This era is drawing to a close. An era of scarcity will breed different values. What looks trendy today will appear to be trite and vain soon, as 1920s-era culture did in the depths of the Depression.
October 10, 2011 at 12:21 AM
pacatatu
thank you for your comment – one of the things I most enjoy here in the US is garage sales and Good Will, thrift, and Salvation Army stores – recycling and finding very unique styles!
October 10, 2011 at 5:24 PM
doc_retro@juno.com
You shop like I do. I also prefer used cars and vintage tech – hence the name, ‘Doc_Retro.’ Why discard what can be re-used? I am happy to know that you are a kindred spirit in this regard (as you arer in loving things Classical).
October 20, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Kenia Balak
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